Less than 24 hours later

Ha! Screw you Wall Pleasant! I got a job!

Starting tomorrow, I am working for a company that rhymes with PLA Diaper (I've been instructed not to use their real name to protect their integrity) in their marketing and PR department. It's starting out as a temporary position, but that is more than fine with me. From at least now until Christmas I have a guaranteed pay check and way to fill my days. The girl I am working for is beyond nice and I think I am going to get along really well with her. I am actually really excited about this. I am making (relatively speaking) bank. I get to work in a fun environment and it's only a few tube stops away.
I no longer have the postgraduate, over educated, unemployed blues. I thought about changing to another Wally Pleasant classic, "Stupid Day Job", but I don't think that will necessarily apply to me. At least, not yet. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
Oh, and I have a date tomorrow. Things are coming together....

Wally Pleasant

My problems all started on commencement day
When people started asking me what my plans were I didn’t know what to say.
I thought about hanging out in Europe or traveling around the states,
But my car was total junk and I couldn’t afford airline rates.
So I got down on my knees and prayed and sent out resumes cause I needed a job.

Well, I was just looking for an easy, high paying, career,
But I could wall paper my bedroom with the rejection letters I got this year
Because the entry level job picture just ain’t what it ought to be,
But at least I can blame all my problems on the economy.

I got the postgraduate, over educated, out of work blues.

Well, 1 and 1 is 2. 2 and 2 is 4. 28 squared is 784!
I know a lot of useless facts that I’ll never even use,
When I’m not at the MECS office, I’m at job interviews.

I got the postgraduate, over educated, out of work blues.

I should of joined the Army instead of taking that SAT test
Because my BA degree is a bunch of BS.
And I wish I worked in a factory, I wish I knew how to weld stuff.
I should have gone to Botech and got a job where I don’t need to know stuff,
Like the 18th theory of economics, or the houses of Croy.

I once wrote a 35 pages paper about the significance of the United States having a service based economy and now I’m unemployed. I’m unemployed.

I got the postgraduate, over educated, out of work blues.
I got the postgraduate, over educated, out of work blues.
One more time for everyone whose got a masters degree!
I got the postgraduate, over educated, out of work blues.

Weekend Holidays

I spent the weekend in the country (though not the technical country, just more "country" than the city where I have been spending all my time) at my Aunt's house. I took the train down - all told about a two hour trip - and spent most of that time listening to my iPod and staring out the window. At one point, as I looked out on the rolling green landscape dotted with grazing sheep and listening to Imogen Heap, I quietly smiled at myself and my situation. A very nice old man sitting across from me asked me what I was smiling at and I don't think he quite knew what to say when I answered, "England". What an astoundingly beautiful place. I can't say it's perfect and there are things I wish were different - but not many things and not drastically different.
Spending time with my Aunt (who looks nearly identical to my mom) and my cousins (three sisters who are incredibly close) made me miss my family just a little bit. I'm feeling particularly lonely this Monday afternoon, now that I have returned to my little apartment. But overall, it was nice to have a family and home cooked food and more than one room to live in for the weekend.
I've been spending a lot of time with this Israeli exchange student I met named Lena. She's pretty cool - over here doing graphic design - and it's been really nice to have someone who is equally interested in all the dorky things I am. We've been going to film festivals, pop art exhibitions, and documentaries on the typeface Helvetica. We are starting to make travel plans for after Christmas. Top of our list; Ireland and Scotland. We might make it over the channel, depending on how much money I am making at that point.
I sort of, not really, but kind of got a part time job at this club around the corner from my house. They posted on gumtree looking for a sound engineer for their live gigs. I applied, not really expecting anything, but got a call for an interview. So I went over there to have a chat with the girl who owns the place and it turns out that she Loves Austin. With a capital L. That was actually the main reason she called me up. She said she had a huge response, much of which was compiled by people more qualified than I am, but that she has never met someone from Austin she didn't like. We talked for about an hour about ACL, her club, and music in general. I am now on a standby list of sorts, for when she needs someone to come in a cover a shift. Basically, it is something I'll be doing once every 3 weeks or so, but I am pretty excited about it. She said she would make sure I was there whenever they had an Austin band in.
I just read Nick Hornby's "A Long Way Down". I highly recommend it. It only takes a day or two to read, so go pick up a copy.

Reasons why I am going to Hell

I went to mass today with my Grandma for her birthday and because it was the annual memorial mass for my Granddad. While at church, I picked up on at least a few of the reasons why I might not be sharing eternity with the Lord Savior up in Heaven.

1. Today's sermon was about the individuals role in the church and in their religion - sort of a "don't ask what God can do for you, but what you can do for God" theme. At one point the priest (who really reminded me of Eddie Izzard's parody of English priests, which perhaps could be a whole separate reason) said "God loves us completely and fully....long pause... He just loves us to bits". I may have laughed inappropriately, people may have noticed.

2. During Communion the violinist played Paco Bell Cannon in D and instead of reflecting on my life/sins and praying silently, I was singing Taco Bell Cannon in D to myself. So, whilst drinking Christ's blood, in my head I was singing, "I like tacos, I like tacos... taco bell taco bell taco taco bell taco bell"... etc.

3. When Mass ended there was a mass exodus (I am hilarious) towards the street. I won't lie - I haven't been jostled about so much by a crowd the entire time I've been here. I was getting shoved left and right and little kids were punching my legs and stepping on my toes and, completely by accident, I may have muttered something along the lines of "Jesus Christ! Watch where you are going" in reference to an 80-year-old woman who nailed my ankle with her cane.

So yeah, if you find yourself waiting for me at the pearly gates, don't hold your breath.

What do you do with a B.S. in Advertising?

Apparently nothing.

Fours years of college, three semesters in one of the best portfolio programs in the nation, several internships in the industry, and I am completely and totally unmarketable. I don't seem to fit into ANY job requirements, mainly because I don't have any agency experience - though I don't see how the hell I am supposed to get any.

Today is my first self pity day. I am frustrated, pissed off, disappointed, and pretty much convinced I am a failure. I really don't want to come back to Texas in December and have to answer everyone's "Oh my god, so how is London? What are you doing over there?" questions with a very simple, "nothing. All I've managed to do is waste a bunch of money".
That is where the failure part comes in. I just want a fucking job. It doesn't have to be glamorous, it doesn't have to pay well, it can have shit hours, it can be stressful and in the company of people I hate. All I ask is that the job be at least SOMEWHAT relevant to what I want to do with my life. I don't want to be in Ad sales, I don't want to be a receptionist at an ears/nose/throat hospital, and I don't think this is asking to much.

It's really hard to stay motivated in the whole job search thing when all you get in response is rejection after rejection. I mean, I am used to critique - I really rather like it - but this is starting to grate me in a way that can't be good for my self esteem. How the hell are you supposed to get a job?

*rant over*

WTF?

I was in my local Sainsburys this evening when I happened to notice this:

It's kind of hard to read, but you are looking at Kleenex for men. I am not kidding, the name on the box is "Kleenex for men".
Now, I've done a little research and according to the UK Kleenex website "KLEENEX® For Men tissues are big, strong & reliable enough for all your needs — everything you would expect from the number one facial tissue brand for 50 years." However, according to the somewhat less reputable site, dooyoo.co.uk, a man writes in a review of the product, "I have found that they are best at absorbing three of my body fluids which I produce and discharge in large quantities on a regular basis. These fluids are snot, sweat and sperm". There are over a dozen comments following this review praising it's accuracy and honesty. So we have to wonder if this is the true reasoning behind Kleenex's new subbrand or if, perhaps, some sort of geographical marketing scheme.
It's interesting to note that this product is not available in the states - it isn't even listed on the US Kleenex website as an existing product. So what is it about British guys that made the corporation feel they had room to expand? Are British guys more sensitive? Are British guys more gullible and, therefore, willing to shell out the extra cash? Or do British guys just wank off more?
Help me figure this out - I find it fascinating.

Ann Coulter is a Stupid Bitch

There is no other way to describe her.

I would like a religious opinion on this - I know the woman is insane, but since I don't know the bible/Christian beliefs that well, I don't know just how crazy she truly is. Do Christians really consider themselves "perfected jews"? I have never heard this idea before....
I just really can't believe how completely and utterly thick headed and arrogant this woman is. She makes some rash generalizations about the world and how it works and then makes all sorts of emphatic statements based on very little to no fact. People like that really piss me off. How can ANYONE listen to her and think she brilliant?! It's times like this that I fear for the well being of humanity.

Stones are rocks

I signed up at a gym 'round the corner. It's fantastic! It is probably one of the nicest facilities I have ever used, which may or may not be saying anything since I have spent most of my recent gym life at UT. Not only do they have your standard equipment and classes (they have ab lab!), but they also have a salon that does facials, nails, massages, and all that good stuff.
It's a neat little place, except for one thing: everything is in kilos. I almost caused the ellipticals brain to explode when I tried to tell it I weighed 145 kilos. That did not compute. It is also a little difficult to use the weight machines when I am not entirely sure how much I am lifting. I am sure it looks as though I have never been to a gym before in my life.
The scales in the locker room measure in stones. Stones! Like that means anything; how archaic. As the title of this entry says, stones - as far as I am concerned - are rocks, not units of measurement. The nice thing about the stones approach though is that your weight sounds so small - "so-and-so weighs 9 stone". 9 is such a nice little number! The bad thing is that I am not sure how much I weigh or how much weight I want to lose or what stone weight is my healthy stone weight. Stupid stones.
This country is weird.

My New House

This is my building. I live above a shoe repair shop (as you can see) and it has already proven handy. I took a pair of boots down to get the heel fixed and I got a discount. Robert and I are tight like that.


Here is my “flat”. It’s more of a glorified dorm room. It’s one room with, basically, two closets that have been converted into a bathroom and a kitchen. This is a shot from the front door – that far door you see is the kitchen.


Speaking of kitchen, isn’t it cute? In this context, "cute" and "tiny" are interchangeable. Interesting tidbit, that oven doesn’t actually have any numbers on the temperature dial. Cooking is a guess and check process for me these days. So far, it hasn’t been a problem. I have been setting it in the middle and just watching what I have in there. I figure “middle” must be somewhere around 350f and, really, isn’t everything cooked at 350f anyway?

Here are a couple of shots of my “living room”. That first one is back towards the front door and the second one nicely shows off my fun/sentimental picture collage. Please ignore the pile of trash waiting to go out...



This shows you my “bedroom”. Like I said, glorified dorm room with a lofted bed and all. That door behind my dry rack (today was laundry day and Britain doesn’t believe in dryers) is my bathroom.
You don’t really need to see a picture of it, but you might like to know it was made for a midget. I don’t know if that is true, but I think it could be. It does have a full size bathtub, which is nice, but the “shower” is just some y-shaped tubing attached to the bath taps with a showerhead shape on one end. I can’t actually stand in my shower – it’s about 4 inches too short for that. Bathing is awkward, to say the least. Also, my toilet makes an atrocious sound every time I flush it. My landlord is supposed to be in next week to fix it. But for the time being, I wake up the entire building every time I pee. So that’s good.
To continue the midget theme, my lofted bed (which is very comfortable) doesn’t have quite enough clearance for me to sit up in bed. It’s about 2 inches shy of an acceptable height. I hit my head a lot the first couple of days, but I have gotten use to it now. Yesterday morning I sat up to check the time and automatically dipped my head to one side - I am a quick learner.

Here are some photos of the neighborhood. I live on the high street - just a 5 minute walk from the Camden Locks and the Camden Market Place. It’s a really neat area and apparently very trendy which means I totally fit in, because we all know how trendy I am...




The High Street (above)
The Locks (Above)

I went a spent several hours at the market today. It’s a really interesting place. It’s an old stable/horse hospital that has been converted into a bunch of independently owned stalls. You get a little bit of everything in there: proper antiques, jewelry, clothes from cute to Goth, shoes galore, nick knacks form all over the world – and all very reasonable priced. The only down side is that the whole place smells of food an incense which means, depending on the direction of the wind, it either makes me hungry or nauseous. I picked up a few pieces from local artists today. Below are my favorite two.

This is by a guy named Bansky. You can google him and see more stuff, which I strongly recommend. He did a whole series (which this one comes from) where he went around stenciling the sides of buildings around town. He’s also done a lot of sketches and traditional canvas work. It’s all pretty cool – I think you can all tell why I like this one. NHR, represent.


And this I got from a “local” who is actually from Dallas. He had a stall in the market full of crazy bunny art (Bunnies riding rockets, Indian Jones Bunnies, Bunnies at War) as well as a couple of other cool series – urban fairies, romantic sketches, etc. He had a couple of different distinct styles too, which I thought was neat. It’s always interesting to see two paintings that have so little in common it would be hard to guess they were by the same guy. This one is called “Injection”. It might be my new favorite thing.