2 More Days

I have two more days until I leave for England.

I have new glasses that barely look like glasses (see photo).
I have pretty, fixed up hair.
I have the paper work started for my bank account in London.
I have my British Passport (complete with, perhaps, one of the worst photos of me ever).
I have appointments(ish) set up with a few letting agencies.
I have tickets to see Spamalot on Tuesday night.
I have an interview with a media agency in London (ew. media. But, maybe it'll be something).

I have no sense at all - I think I must be bat shit crazy to be doing this. But hey, what sane person ever had real fun?

18 hours later...

BJ and I made it to Florida at 5 pm last night. It really wasn't as bad of a drive as I thought it was going to be.
We left at 1o on Tuesday and drove towards Shreveport. We got out of Texas in about 2 hours and then turned south to meet up with I-10 around Lafayette. Louisiana is a long, very tall, state. We spent about more than half of the first 13 hours in LA... and there isn't a whole lot to see. Except(!), the "live tiger exhibit" at a gas station in Gross Tete. Yep, in the middle of no where Louisiana there is a tiger sitting in a cage with a jet of water spraying on him to keep him cool. And it isn't even an Exxon...
We spent the night is Defuniack Springs, Florida and only had about 5 hours in the car the second day. We got in right before rush hour, which was nice. Last night we went to the local Indian Casino where they gave us $40 for opening a player's club account and were handing out a lot of $2 beer. A few beers and 40 (free) dollars later I was out of money - i blew it all on a sot machine that I had payed me big on the cruise... and there was a cat involved that looked like Bruce; my gambling methods are amazing. BJ played some poker and ended up ahead by about $30 (which if you count the money my mom and dad gave him for the trip and the free casino money, he was really up about $280). It was, all around, a pretty fun night.
We have to take Bj to the airport today and then I've got a list about a mile long my mom has for me to get done in the next 6 days. I got my British Passport in the mail just before I left Dallas. It's very pretty. I am all official now.

Last Days in Dallas

My time in Dallas as been incredibly easy going. I spent my days working out, reading, dining, and putzing (there was a lot of putzing).
My dad really got into guitar hero while I had it here. We had a bonding day which consisted of playing two hours of guitar hero and then watching the new Dawn of the Dead (both his selection unaided by me).

I went and saw Invasion. It was alright. Overall I would say it entertained me, but there was such a heavy handed political message (particularly in the ending) that I was left with a sour taste in my mouth and, therefore, don't really feel like recommending it to anyone.
I also saw Superbad - that I will highly recommend. I was about to launch into a big discussion about Judd Apatow and how stellar his directorial style is, but I just looked it up and Judd Apatow did not direct Superbad (according to the article "Breaking: ‘Superbad’ Director Greg Mottola Is Not Judd Apatow"). Well, I suppose my point still stands: I was really impressed by this film's (and other movies like 'Knocked Up') ability to be an on-the-surface-silly-masterpiece-of-immature-humor flick while also boasting some of the more realistic and honest characters seen in movies today. I once read an interview with Judd Apatow in which he discussed how this is basically his goal in movie making - to develope characters that people identify with on a frightening personal level. It seems to have rubbed off on Greg Mottola. Superbad is hilarious and absurd, but at the same time does a pretty damn good job of portraying what it really is to be that drunk girl on the floor at a party giggling, "I fell down" (not to mention how that girl feels the next day). I may have felt something for that girl... overall, a seriously excellent movie.

Jeremy and I had our graduation celebration last night. We started out at Javiers for dinner; this really lovely gourmet Mexican place. Afterwards, we kept the shnaz at full throttle and made our way to the Main Event for an hour of bowling. Let it be known that I won all three games. I am a bowling machine. After dominating Jeremy at the lanes, we headed downtown for dessert and wine and the Ritz Carlton's new restaurant, Farrings. I don't think I have ever been to a nicer place, it was just incredible. The host took us on a little tour around the place before seating us - the walls were covered in suede, there were amazing light fixtures everywhere, the art work was all different designs made with amber, there were 2 bars (one inside on out), 3 dining areas (a more traditional atrium room, a sort of hunter's club looking room with these Awesome high backed white arm chairs that would make anyone look important, and then a dining area built around a kitchen so you could watch the chefs, this is where we ate). Our water cost $8 and I received many apologies from the waiter when he saw me refilling my own glass. The whole place was the definition of high class. Oh right, and the food was stellar as well. It was a really really nice evening.

I went and said goodbye to my grandparents today. It's the only goodbye that has made me cry. I am absolutely certain that I will see everyone else again, even if it is not until December. But there is a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was the last time I'll see y grandparents. Very sad thought indeed.

Tomorrow, Bjesus and I are driving to Florida. I can't say I am excited about being in a car for 18 hours, but I am glad Bj is coming with me. I'll be sure to let you know we made it without incident.

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

for real?

I shipped half of my worldly possessions to England yesterday. Now, $200 and 24 hrs later, no one can really tell me where they are. That's not entirely true. They know they are somewhere over the Atlantic and they know that they are not accompanied by the proper customs forms. Apparently, in the hour I spent filling out paper work at FedEx, it didn't occur to anyone to tell me one of those forms needed to be notarized. The very smart people employed at FedEx called me last night informing of the problem but went ahead and shipped them anyway before I got there this morning to fix it.
In theory it'll all be ok. Customs is done by random draw. If they don't pick mine to search, no worries. If they do, they will notice the lack of paperwork and hold my items "until they decide otherwise". I'm not sure what that phrase means, but I am scared it means I am never getting my stuff back.
This whole mishap has done more than aggravate me; it has made this whole "moving" thing real. I am actually leaving. In 17 days. Gone. I haven't been worried about it until now. I have been in the position (here in Dallas) of explaining my plan to Friends and family on a twice daily basis. The repetition has really drilled into my head the fact that I have no plan. None. Freaky.
I hope my stuff shows up. And I hope my life works out. My confidence is faltering, but for the time being it is still there. I am (somewhat) confident that this is a good idea.

The end of an era

My last night in Austin proved very entertaining. We overstayed out welcome at the Dog and Duck and proceeded to hang out way too late with the few reamining friends at a house down the street. I got to see, pretty much, everyone I wanted to and got all the hugs I needed. I also got a Dog and Duck t-shirt and porceline Smithwicks tap from dear Chris Kelly. I am still a little unclear on the how and why of that. But let it be known, Chris is an excellent negotiator.
I had lunch this morning with Kelly, Blair, Christine, Blake, and Bobo before taking to the road and leaving Austin behind me. I selected the Bjesus Accoustic Mix as my soundtrack - the same CD I listened to when I drove to Colorado for my freshman year of college. It will also be the CD that takes me to Florida, and I am sure, the CD that will take me out of the country. I think that's important, and it makes me happy.
I made it through the first 40 mintues of the drive before I cried. It was a rather strange moment actually. I didn't feel any saddness swelling up inside me. Instead, as I was singing along to Brand New's "Play Crack the Sky", I was hit by this wave of nostalgia and longing. I let out one or two tears and then felt completely composed again. I think its a good sign that I didn't cry the whole trip (i.e. my initial drive to Colorado, and we all know how that turned out). I didn't really cry much at all. I texted Kelly:

me: I made it 40 minutes before I got sad. Can I come home to Austin now?
Kelly: Aw! You can always come back, but now its time to be having exciting adventures!
me: Yes. Right. Adventures!
Kelly: Go Forth! Slay Dragons!
me: Someone has to slay that dragon...
Kelly: Shelley, that dragon is not going to slay itself.

Nothing has ever been as inspirational.

Though I am, quite obviously, going to be sad about leaving Austin, I don't feel sad. This is, I think, a good start. *deleted content* The point here is that I am "home" and will be for the next 11 days. Those of you in Dallas, please take the time to hug me.
For my dear Austinites, some lyrics I found particularly fitting for my drive:

its the best friends that make you
sometimes they break you
its the best friends that move you
in my case see through you
its the best friends that need you
in my case believe you
its the best friends lives kiss you
in my case I'll miss you