I went to mass today with my Grandma for her birthday and because it was the annual memorial mass for my Granddad. While at church, I picked up on at least a few of the reasons why I might not be sharing eternity with the Lord Savior up in Heaven.
1. Today's sermon was about the individuals role in the church and in their religion - sort of a "don't ask what God can do for you, but what you can do for God" theme. At one point the priest (who really reminded me of Eddie Izzard's parody of English priests, which perhaps could be a whole separate reason) said "God loves us completely and fully....long pause... He just loves us to bits". I may have laughed inappropriately, people may have noticed.
2. During Communion the violinist played Paco Bell Cannon in D and instead of reflecting on my life/sins and praying silently, I was singing Taco Bell Cannon in D to myself. So, whilst drinking Christ's blood, in my head I was singing, "I like tacos, I like tacos... taco bell taco bell taco taco bell taco bell"... etc.
3. When Mass ended there was a mass exodus (I am hilarious) towards the street. I won't lie - I haven't been jostled about so much by a crowd the entire time I've been here. I was getting shoved left and right and little kids were punching my legs and stepping on my toes and, completely by accident, I may have muttered something along the lines of "Jesus Christ! Watch where you are going" in reference to an 80-year-old woman who nailed my ankle with her cane.
So yeah, if you find yourself waiting for me at the pearly gates, don't hold your breath.
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I would like to mention that I don't condemn you at all. If you're there, I will be very excited. Mainly, I believe in a personal Heaven, so you'll be hanging out in mine. If you want to be there.
However, I did one time hear someone say that all the fun people are in Hell, anyway.
i don't take organized religion very seriously, though i would consider myself to be rather "religious" . . . for me, i'm just glad you decided to go, and based on your stories, i know that i would've reacted in much the same way to many of those situations
when you come back for christmas, you should come to church with me one time . . . it's just a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings, really casual dress, and the music is basically a rock concert . . . and they're awesome, they bring the rock
that's how i find i best connect with these sorts of things . . . through music . . . knowing you, i wouldn't doubt that you are the same way
a comment on what blair said . . . i recently heard hell described as a place where everybody gets exactly what they want . . . the only problem is that nobody ever wants exactly the same thing, so it's a place of terrible loneliness and separation . . . personally, that's much more frightening than sitting in a pit of fire for eternity
I'll second what Jeremy says, but I might change a few words here and there. I don't take religion seriously at all, but I'm a very spiritual person.
Church, for me, has always been a middleman between me and feeling good about what I believe in.
I'm not saying Jeremy's church wouldn't be an exception -- in fact, if y'all do go to church over the break I may join you since I'm so tired of my money-crazed "mega-church."
I may not always feel this way, but for the past year or so that I haven't been going to church with any sort of frequency, I've felt more comfortable with my spirituality.
That might have something to do with the feeling that every 50-something WASP in the congregation probably thinks that all gay people are going to hell in a hand basket or something equally prejudiced against any given group of people.
Makes me feel icky.
You're not going to hell for those things. No way. Funny is funny -- you can't change that. God has a sense of humor.
I'm with you, Jeremy, about the hell thing. Silence, emptiness, loneliness -- waaaay more affective than a pit of fire.
I always enjoyed the interpretation of Hell as "other people" in the words of Jean Paul Sartre. You may recognize this from No Exit, the play that would have been better sans Erin Phalon. Haha.
John, do you remember when Mrs. Clark laughed at me and shook her head in a "poor little damned girl" sort of way when I told her that, for me, hell would be nothing? (nothing in the sense of emptiness, not nothing in the sense of a piece of cake).
It was during a Dante's Inferno talk. Sigh. Oh Mrs. Clark.
haha, this church is kinda money crazed mega church, but the music is super sick, which is what i enjoy the most
As a sort of non religious, sometimes non spiritual person (though I aspire to such things, actually, and have for awhile now) ... I think that churches can be very helpful in facilitating a relationship with ... something. God, I suppose. Or religion. But, for me, it's been a matter of finding a place where I feel comfortable and where I feel - I don't know - closer to something. I've found I'm something of a traditionalist - I like higher services, with traditional music and such. Hardly a surprise, though, when you think of what I study - I find tradition, age, solemnity and formal language to be very powerful.
Shell, however, is not going to hell. Her puns alone will earn her a place in heaven. MASS EXODUS!!! How could anyone - even the creator of the world - resist?
Oh, Shelley, I'm glad you exist. Who else notices man-Kleenex?
i've been meaning to ask, when you mention the pachelbel/taco bell thing, are you talking about this guy's rant?
the pachelbel rant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM
I am actually referencing an A Capella song called "Taco Bell Cannon in D". It's a pretty hilarious parody about Fast Food chains.
It's 6 AM and I am WIDE awake. Don't know why. ARGH.
Shelley! Ho! Come back!
There really are all sorts of permutations of that.
I will only use that one when you are annoyingly in the country and i am up at 3 working on homework. Bah humbug. Or NEW ZEALAND.
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